“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.” ~Eckhart Tolle (via The Mindfulist)

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.

Today I’m going to suggest a small change in mindset that could change your life.

I won’t keep you in suspense. Here it is: think of nothing that happens as either good or bad. Stop judging, and stop expecting.

It’s a tiny change — all you have to do is say, ‘That wasn’t good or bad, it just happened, it just is.’ It’s tiny, but it takes practice, and amazingly, it can knock you on your ass.

Why? Because with this little change, you will no longer be swayed up and down depending on whether good things or bad things happen to you, whether people (and their actions) are good or bad. You will learn to accept things as they are, and move within that landscape mindfully.

You will no longer expect good things to happen (or bad things), but will just take things as they come, and be content with whatever comes. This means you’ll no longer be disappointed, or unhappy.

“When people see some things as beautiful,
other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good,
other things become bad.”
~Lao Tzu

A Little Exercise

Think of something good that happened to you recently, and how it affected your mindset. Now think of something bad that happened, and what that did to your mindset.

Now imagine that neither event was good, and neither was bad. They simply happened, existed.

How does that change how you would have felt as a result of those events? How does it change your happiness, your mood? How does it change what you do in reaction?

When you stop judging things as good or bad, you are no longer

Nothing is good or bad

Hamlet said, ‘There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.’

He was right. Without the human mind, things just happen, and they are not good or bad. It’s only when we apply the filter of our judgment that they become good or bad, beautiful or ugly.

A weed is only a weed when we don’t like it. Children are only naughty if we don’t like their actions. Life only sucks if you judge it as bad.

But what about truly horrible tragedies, like a plague or tsunami or the Holocaust? Surely those are bad? Sure, through the lens of the judgment we’ve been raised to make, they are terrible. But then again, remove the judgment, and then … they simply happened. Death and cruelty will probably always make us sad, but they’ve always happened and always will, whether we like them or hate them.

Holocaust survivor and author Victor Frankl wrote of a rich woman who went through the Holocaust, and who was grateful for the experience, as much as she suffered, because it opened her eyes. It transformed her. I’m not saying the Holocaust was good, but perhaps we can say that it happened. It serves as a lesson — one we should heed, by the way, in these days of politically charged hatred, of blaming our ills on immigrants and minorities.

There are other tragedies that happen that aren’t necessarily bad. They’re devastating losses, without a doubt, but in life there are always losses, and people will always die. It’s how we judge them that determines our reaction, and determines whether we’re capable of dealing with it sanely.

Great Expectations

The second half of this change is just as small, but just as important: dropping expectations. Not lowering expectations, but eliminating them.

Think about it: when we have expectations, and things don’t go the way we expect (which happens quite often, as we’re not good prognosticators), we are disappointed, frustrated. It’s our expectations that force us to judge whether something is good or bad.

When you expect something of a friend, co-worker, family member, spouse, and they don’t live up to that expectation, then you are upset with them, or disappointed. It causes anger. But what if you had no expectations — then their actions would be neither good nor bad, just actions. You could accept them without frustration, anger, sadness.

What if you went on vacation, to a place you had high expectations of, and it wasn’t what you thought it’d be? You’d be bitterly disappointed, even though it’s not the fault of that place — that’s just how the place is. It’s your expectations that are at fault.

When people disappoint you, it’s not their fault. They’re just being who they are. Your expectations are at fault.

The Why

But why make this change? Why should we stop judging? Why should we stop expecting?

Because judgments stop us from understanding, and can ruin our happiness. When we judge, we don’t seek to understand — we’ve already come to a conclusion. If we stop judging, we allow ourselves to try to understand, and then we can take a much smarter course of action, because we’re better informed by our understanding.

Judging makes us unhappy. So do expectations.

When we leave judgment behind, we can live in the moment, taking what comes as neither good or bad, but simply what is. We can stop ruining our happiness with our thinking, and start living instead.

The How

So how do we start doing this? In small steps, as always.

1 First, start by being more aware. Throughout the course of the day today, note when you make judgments, note when you have expectations, and when things don’t live up to them. Over time, you’ll notice this more and more, and be much more conscious of these types of thoughts.

2 Next, pause each time you notice a judgment or expectation. Take a breath. Then tell yourself, “No expectations, no good or bad.” Repeat this, letting go of the judgment or expectation.

3 Third, seek to see things as they are, and to understand. Be curious as to why things are the way they are, why people act the way they act. Investigate, empathize, try to put yourself in people’s shoes. See the landscape of your life as it actually is, without the filter of judgments or expectations.

4 Next, take what comes. Experience it, in the moment. React appropriately, without overreacting because it isn’t as you hoped or wanted. You can’t
control life, or others, but you can control how you react.

5 Then, accept. When things happen, understand why they do, without judgment, and accept them as they are. Accept people for who they are. Accept yourself, without judgment, as you are. This takes practice.

6 Finally, know that the present moment, being as it is, also contains infinite possibilities. And those possibilities are opened up once you see things as they are, without judgment or expectations.

—
If you liked this article, please bookmark it on Delicious or share on Twitter. Thanks, my friends.

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.

Most people reading this will have a to-do program, or a paper list or text file, listing not only projects and tasks but separate lists for home and work and possibly half a dozen different contexts.

Those who don’t have a to-do list probably feel they should, because they’re swamped and feeling overwhelmed.

I’m here to suggest: kill your to-do list.

It sucks up your time, and drains your motivation. Those who have to-do lists usually manage them constantly, or if they don’t they fall into disuse and get dusty and become worthless, while the person who’s fallen behind in maintaining the list feels constantly guilty. For those who keep up with the lists, they spend a lot of time on the lists they could be spending … doing something important.

And what of these lists? They’re long, you never get to the end of them, and half the time the tasks on the list never get done. While it feels good to check items off the list, it feels horrible having items that never get checked off. This is all useless spending of mental energy, because none of it gets you anywhere.

The only thing that matters is the actual doing.

So what’s a better system?

The One Thing System

Here’s what I do, and highly recommend to anyone willing to break free of the to-do list:

1. I wake up in the morning, and decide what One Thing I’m excited about.
2. Then I focus on doing that, pushing everything else aside, clearing distractions, and allowing myself to get caught up in the moment.

I don’t worry what else is on my list, because there’s only One Thing on my list. I don’t have to check anything off, because I don’t actually have a list. I don’t have to worry about things not getting done, because I do the only thing I want to do — if I didn’t want to do it, it wouldn’t be my One Thing.

If I happen to finish my One Thing early, I can slack off for the rest of the day (my favorite strategy), or I can pick my next One Thing.

But … but …

What about the other things you need to do? What if you forget them?

Make a list of possible things to do, if you like, or routine tasks that need to get done for one reason or another. I would consider eliminating as many things as possible on the routine list, as they tend to just be friction that stops you from doing what you really want to do. If you do make a list, don’t consider it a to-do list, of things you need to check off. Just keep it as a reminder, and don’t spend any time other than adding things to it and possibly checking it once a day.

Even this list isn’t necessary, but I only suggest it here for those who don’t feel safe without it. If you really don’t want to forget something, you can put a reminder on your calendar. I suggest avoiding this when possible, but if I need to send out payments once a month, I’ll put a reminder on my calendar. It’s not that complicated.

For the important things, you tend to know what you really want to get done. If you’re a writer, you know what you want to write, usually. If you’re a designer, you already have an idea of what you’re excited about working on. You don’t need a list. You just need to forget about the list, and get working.

Kill your to-do list, and forget about all the things you need to do … except the One Thing you’re passionate about, right now.

—
If you liked this article, please bookmark it on Delicious or share on Twitter. Thanks, my friends.
–
Read more about simple productivity, focus and getting great things done in my book, The Power of Less.

Dear Readers,
We wanted to let you know that there will be some  changes coming to EGN over the next couple of weeks. We all love this blog and Kelly’s work, so we are working to keep the content alive and add more information to help everyone transition to better health.
Every Gym’s Nightmare is now part [...]

The action comedy MacGruber will be hitting theaters on May 21st and stars Will Forte as Saturday Night Live’s clueless soldier of fortune. Even though you have to wait another month for the movie, a free iPhone app was recently released for the film. The MacGruber app includes an exciting bomb defusing game, mullet photo tool, soundboard with lines from the flick and more.

MacGruber iPhone App

Also the new MacGruber Training Academy site just launched for even more fun at macgruberacademy.com. And check out the MacGruber movie trailer below.

Post from: EveryJoe

MacGruber iPhone App

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on twitter or identica.

As many of you know, I’ve been passionate about minimalism for awhile now, but as the trend towards simplicity and minimalism has grown, it’s given me pause for thought.

The minimalism trend has had certain elements that leave some readers with a bad taste in their mouths: elements of hype and salesmanship, elements of obsession, elements of one-upsmanship, a focus on aesthetics, a focus on possessions to the point of obsession.

I have to confess I’m as guilty of these things as anyone else, so please don’t take this as an attack on anyone. If anything, it’s simply me, holding up a mirror and giving myself a close inspection.

It’s true that when we obsess over what (few) possessions we have, it has a hold on us just as much as if we were hoarders. I publish my list of 50 things not so much to obsess over every little thing I have, but as a way to say: limits are good things. And as a way to inspire others, to show them that it’s possible.

But still. Obsession over possessions is unhealthy, and it needs to be rethunk.

Minimalism, as discussed on minimalism and simplicity blogs, can also become a game of one-upsmanship — showing how little we have (it all fits in a backpack!), how far we’ve come (not only have I given up my car, but my house and my computer too!), how cool our setup (my desktop has fewer icons than yours). I’ve done it, and if other writers are honest, they’ve done it too, even if they didn’t mean to.

Let’s let go of these obsessions with the perfect setup, with showing simple desks and desktops and software and so on.

And that brings me to minimalism, rethunk: we need to let go.

Let go of obsessions, and embrace the moment.

Let go of salesmanship and hype, and be content.

Let go of one-upsmanship and competitiveness, and just share and encourage.

Let go of control, and embrace what comes.

Let go of perfection, and just do.

—

Some recent posts on my other blog, mnmlist, you might be interested in:

• you need less than you think
• the price of convenience
• society, reimagined
• society, reimagined: how to make it reality
• the only thing you can change
• possessions != security
• on finding contentedness
• the joy of walking
• minimalist fun
• the creativity of constraints
• stop making it complicated
• wash your bowl

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from David Damron of The Minimalist Path.

Let’s start with an exercise …

1. Grab a small sheet of paper and a pen or pencil.

2. After you read the following question, please take 5 deep breaths before answering.

3. Write your response to the up-coming question on your piece of paper in one sentence.

Here is your question to answer:

If you had the opportunity to do one activity for one week without any worry about finances, cost, or other outside commitments, what would you love to do for this week?

I hope you answered that question on the piece of paper. If not, please finish following the original instructions and then continue reading.

So, what did you come up with? Was it travel around your favorite Hawaiian Island? Was it to spend a week at Disney World with your family and friends? Was it take that honeymoon you and your significant other missed out on? Or was it watch television while you munched on chips and salsa for eight hours a day, seven days straight? I doubt it was that last one.

However, for some reason, the last response should be answered the most. At least by Americans. In 2008, we watched an average of 5.1 hours/day of television and that doesn’t include the 3 hours/month average of internet video watching. For Americans, that is a total of 10.92 weeks / year watching television. If that figure doesn’t shock you then I don’t know what will.

In America and much of western culture, our infatuation with materialism comes from the opportunity to have such. Being a minimalist pre-cable/satellite television was not just a fad. It was a way of life. People were these things called ACTIVE and ENERGETIC. Once television became such a monumental part of our lives, we began being consumed by this sedentary form of life that co-existed with unhealthy and unfit lives.

In many other parts of the world, being active is living. In Japan, Leo Babauta experienced the countering idea to the lives of western cultures. He found that many Japanese lives revolve around basic physical activities like walking and biking and there isn’t a focus on exercise. Those that have not accepted the forms of materialism similar to the addiction in America and beyond live longer and are happier. Though this may be for many reasons, such as financial, I like to believe it is for the health and life reasons that many the world over choose the anti-materialism way.

Health is not the only factor in the fight against materialism. You do not need me to tell you about the financial situation the world is in. The abundance of commercials and other highly influential advertising through our modes of electronic communication have caused personal debt to become just as bloated as our waste lines. In America, we spend 5.4% of our income entertaining ourselves. That’s $2700/annually that could be going towards savings, retirement, and/or travel. How different would your mindset be if you had $2700 set aside for a random, spontaneous week vacation? If you think that’s a lot, we spend $1881/annually just on apparel and services. Assuming we just cut those two totals in half, we would have an additional $2290 to our name. For me, just that half is a lot of money that could be used for activities that would be much more fulfilling than 500+ television channels.

The point of reducing our sedentary forms of entertainment is not just to save money and lose a few pounds. It is to save our lives! Just imagine how different your life would be if you spent one more hour with your family daily or a few more hours a week chasing your tour card on the PGA or training for a marathon. When we spend our time doing the things we love, it ends up being more valuable than any half hour sitcom can be.

Remember that question I asked you to answer earlier. Your response was only addressing one week. So, if you chose to spend your gifted week at the Great Barrier Reef finding Nemo, imagine what your life would be like if you took just half of that 10+ hours/week spent in front of the television and spent those additional 5 weeks exploring the entire Great Barrier Reef. Surely, your boss may not let you have that much vacation, but without that television being such a major priority, you could do many of the things you dream of doing, whatever they may be.

Being a minimalist and simplifying your life does not mean you need to eliminate all that you somewhat enjoy. I, to this day, like to watch a handful of hours of television per week. However, if you are able to reduce the quantity of time and money spent on that which you just like and apply both to that which you love, you may be able to live a longer, more pleasureful life.

Try cutting your cord to materialism and start appreciating more of the things you don’t just like but love.

David Damron is the author of PROJECT M-31: Simplify Your Life in 31 Days, and chronicles his journey to a more simplified life at The Minimalist Path.

From the Classic Margarita to Vanilla Bean Flan, you’ll love these recipes from The Food Channel for a delicious Cinco de Mayo meal.

For the main dish, try the Mexican Chicken Casserole. It’s easy, cheesy and scrumptious.

Image: The Food Channel

Ingredients

• 6 cups pulled white chicken meat
• 24 ounces Mexican blend shredded cheese, divided in half
• 2 bunches green onions, tops only, chopped, divided in half
• 2 – 10 3/4 ounce cans cream of chicken soup
• 1 – 4 ounce can green chilies, chopped
• 3 cups sour cream
• 1 cup pitted black olives, sliced
• 12 – 6 inch flour tortillas

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Combine half the cheese, half the green onions, cream of chicken soup, chilies, sour cream, and olive. Set aside 2 cups of this mixture for the topping. Add the chicken to the remainder for filling and mix well.
3. Put 2 heaping tablespoons on each tortilla and roll up tightly. Arrange seam-side down in a single layer in a greased 9 x 13 inch baking dish.
4. Spread reserved topping, sprinkle over second half of cheese and green onions. Refrigerate overnight or freeze.
5. Bake uncovered for 45 minutes or until hot, golden, and bubbling. Serve.

Post from: EveryJoe

Cinco de Mayo Spread

Editor’s note: This is a guest post written by my eldest daughter, Chloe Babauta. She’s 17 and a junior in high school, and spent the day with me on Take Your Daughter to Work Day. You can follow her on Twitter.

With all the distractions we’re presented with from the Internet and other forms of media these days, it can be very difficult for teens to focus on schoolwork.

It is so convenient to tweet what you’re doing, text your friends, watch Davedays on YouTube, or to do an infinite number of things when you’re supposed to be researching for an essay.

I’ll admit that just during the time it took to write this post, I’ve taken several breaks just to go on Facebook to see what everyone’s up to. Don’t worry – everyone will still be there after you’re done doing your work, so close Firefox/Chrome/Safari and get down to business.

Here are a few ways to increase your productivity and try to break away from distractions:

1. Turn off your wireless/Internet connection.

I know, it sounds crazy to deliberately cut off your connection to the outside world, but just do it. It eliminates your ability to easily open up your Internet browser and will help you to focus on what you really should be doing.

2. Set aside a specific time for using social networking/other recreational websites.

I’ve allotted myself some time to use the computer from 5:30-6:30 in the evening. I know that if I don’t give myself any limits, I’m capable of staying on Facebook and “becoming a fan” of fifty more pages instead of writing an essay or doing my math homework. I’m sure many people experience this problem too, so make sure to set aside about an hour (or whatever works for you) for leisure time.

3. Take short breaks.

After reading my American History book for too long, I tend to waste about half an hour by taking a nap. So to save myself from becoming insanely bored, I take little breaks by checking MySpace for a few minutes or getting a snack. I suggest that you do your homework or read for about ten to fifteen minutes at a time, then take a two to five minute break to maintain your sanity.

4. Do your work NOW rather than later.

I am a seasoned procrastinator. I’m guilty of wasting hours on end watching or making YouTube videos, chatting on instant messengers, or just daydreaming. I’ve learned the hard way that procrastination is not very rewarding and almost always results in bags under your eyes and B minuses (though there are several cases in which I’ve gotten exceptionally good grades for papers I had written at midnight). Do yourself a favor in advance, and start your work ahead of time.

5. Prioritize!

Ten years from now, do you want to look back at your life and realize that you spent a greater portion of your teen years sitting down in front of a laptop, rather than doing things that actually matter? Spend some time with your family or go outside and take a walk. Read a book, or do something with yourself that doesn’t involve a computer. (This is something I really need to work on too.)

6. Spend less time reading blogs like these about how to help yourself and get right to work! NOW!

The only way to really live productively is to go out and start actually living! After you’ve read up on how to become more productive, put your newly obtained knowledge to use.

—
If you liked this article, please bookmark it on Delicious or share on Twitter. Thanks, my friends.

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on twitter or identica.

Most people don’t know that when I started Zen Habits in January 2007, I was reading a small handful of blogs. Lifehacker, of course, was one, but Get Rich Slowly was another must-read blog for me.

J.D. Roth’s common-sense, frugal philosophy on Get Rich Slowly wasn’t just advice about getting out of debt and being financially sound, it was advice about living life itself.

J.D. had more influence on Zen Habits than anyone realizes, and continues to inspire me to this day. He’s become one of my favorite blogger friends (among many), and that he’s come out with a new book, Your Money: The Missing Manual, is a source of both pride and excitement for me personally.

I’m also excited that J.D. gave me this exclusive interview, and I have to say, it rocks. Some of the things we covered (it’s fairly long, but that’s a good thing):

• The core of J.D.’s philosophy, that helped him get out of $35K of debt
• How to get out of a job/life you hate
• Automating finances
• The five stages of personal finances
• How to get started getting out of debt, when it seems hopeless
• Becoming frugal with naysayers (or “trolls”) in your life
• Why a frugal life isn’t a horrible life

He shares a ton of great financial info, and as I said, it’s advice that will help in any area of life. Enjoy, and then go and buy his book: Your Money: The Missing Manual.

Leo: You’re one of my all-time favorite writers on personal finance and frugality — on or off the web — and I’ve been reading you for probably close to four years. But for those who are new, can you tell us a little about the core philosophy behind Get Rich Slowly, and how you came to have that philosophy?

JD: Thanks for the kind words.

My philosophy developed slowly over time. I don’t have any sort of formal financial training; I’m just a regular guy who has been trying to learn about money for the past several years (and who has been teaching others as I learn). I’ve made plenty of mistakes — and continue to make them — but try to learn along the way so I don’t repeat them (and so that I can teach others not to make the same errors).

So, over the course of five years, I’ve managed to pay off over $35,000 in debt, quit my day job, and go from having nothing saved to fully funding my retirement accounts every year. In the process, I’ve developed a 14-point philosophy. Rather than belabor all 14 points here, I’ll summarize:

First of all, nobody cares more about your money than you do. It took me a long time to realize this, but nobody — not your accountant, your lawyer, your broker, your insurance salesman, your banker — nobody cares about your money the way you do. Everyone else will give you advice, but it’s advice that generally benefits *them* in some way, especially if they work on commission. YOU have to take charge and do your own research.

I also believe there’s rarely one right answer for any financial problem. Instead of listening to somebody who tells you that you MUST do things one way, do what works for you. Listen to other people’s advice, but adapt it to your own situation. If something feels wrong, then try something else. Make choices that reflect your strength and values.

Finally, always remember that it’s more important to be happy than to be rich. Sure, studies show that money generally increases well-being, and there’s nothing wrong with trying to have more, but don’t make choices that sacrifice your long-term happiness for the sake of a few bucks. Don’t work at a job you hate. Don’t buy stuff just because your friends buy stuff. Don’t invest in the stock market if it’s going to make you nervous. Make choices that will bring you long-term happiness.

Leo: I think the problem for some people is they feel stuck – at a job they hate, or in a lifestyle of a certain type (with spouse and kids expecting certain things, perhaps). How do you change from this, so that you’re not sacrificing your happiness for money?

JD: That’s a great question, and I think it gets at the heart of personal finance. Money management isn’t about the numbers; it’s about goals and dreams. That sounds a little new-agey, but it’s true.

If you feel stuck, the first step is to figure out why you feel stuck. You can’t solve the problem if you don’t identify it. One way to help achieve some clarity is to take some time to actually set some financial goals. From my own experience, I know that if you don’t create a map for yourself, it’s easy to get lost; and when you get lost, it’s easy to become overwhelmed.

Also, I think that when many people feel trapped, they just sort of freeze. They don’t do anything. That’s how I was for a long time. When this happens, the best thing you can do is take small steps toward what you really want. If you’re stuck at a job you hate, then maybe take night classes in something that interests you. Start moving slowly in the direction of your dreams. Even a little bit of change can help you relieve some of the pressure.

Leo: Get Rich Slowly is an amazing title. How is that goal coming, btw?

JD: It’s amazing, it really is. When I finally stopped focusing on “magic bullets” and just put my head down and did the work to get out of debt, things started falling into place. Sure, it was a slow slog at sometimes, and I had to do a lot of work, but ultimately I was able to get out of debt in just three years instead of five. And since then, I’ve managed to grow my savings at rates that I didn’t think were possible. And I’m not doing this through buying gold or selling scams or using chain letters. I’m doing it by doing the boring stuff everyone says to do: work hard, spend less, and save for the future. Sometimes boring is best!

Leo: Now that you’ve been doing the “boring stuff” for awhile, have you been able to automate any of that — bill payments, savings, investments, ways to spend less, ways to earn income?

JD: Absolutely. In fact, I’ve tried to automate as much as possible.

All of my utility bills are automatically deducted from my checking account. I use a rewards credit card (that I pay in full every month) for all of my purchases, which helps simplify my budgeting and expense tracking. My saving isn’t automated, but it’s close. I have several ING Direct accounts that I use to save for different goals, and I make one manual transfer a month to each account. And my investing used to be automated before my income became irregular. I used to make regular contributions to my Roth IRA every month. (Now I do a lump-sum year end investment.)

By automating the boring financial stuff, I’m able to focus on Real Life, which is a lot more fun.

Leo: Your personal finance journey might be divided into a few phases so far: getting into debt, getting smarter and working to get out of debt, and then learning to live debt-free. Does that seem like a fair characterization (obviously over-broad), and what do you see as your next phase(s) over the next few years and beyond?

JD: I actually tried to hash this out on the blog last spring. Just thinking out loud, I said there were at least five stages to personal finance.

• To begin, we’re in the zeroth stage of personal finance. We spend without considering the consequences, we don’t set financial goals, and we don’t really understand how money works. (Some people never have to deal with this, and that’s great.)
• During what I call the first stage of personal finance, we realize that, “Whoa. Something’s wrong here. I have to figure this money stuff out.” We begin to understand that interest can be a bitter enemy or a close friend. We see that saving helps us achieve bigger goals than just having the latest XBox game. Debt feels like a burden, and not some sort of way to cheat the system.
• During the second stage of personal finance, we actively work to improve our relationship with money. We destroy debt with vigor, save for the future, and look for ways to boost our income. We’ve mastered the basics, and are now trying to use them to build a firm foundation.
• In the third stage of personal finance, things are running like a well-oiled machine. We’ve paid off our non-mortgage debt, we contribute the maximum the law allows toward retirement, and we save for other goals, like travel or a new house. We don’t spend on things that aren’t important to us.
• In the final stage, the fourth stage, we reach Financial Independence. We’ve saved enough to live on, which allows us to choose work that we’re passionate about instead of work we have to do. We’re able to live where we want, go where we want, and do what we want.

Five years ago, I was just waking up from 15+ years of aimless spending. I had been in the zeroth stage of personal finance all my life, and was only just beginning to get things figured out. When I started Get Rich Slowly, I was in that first stage, learning the basics. Over the past few years, I’ve been fortunate and have worked hard, and as a result I’m now well into that third stage of personal finance. I’ve followed my own advice (which is really the advice of others), and it seems to have worked. Now I’m looking forward to finding Financial Independence. What will I do then? Who knows! But I’m dying to find out…

Leo: Awesome analysis. So let’s say I’m in the zeroth stage, or am in the beginning of the 1st stage, and things seem hopeless for me. I’m in such debt and have so many bills and so little cash that just taking inventory or getting started seems too difficult. I just pile my bills in a corner and want to forget about them. I am living paycheck to paycheck. How do I even get started, how do I even find the courage to face this mess, how to I find the motivation to take action?

JD: This can be tough. First, you need to understand that you can do this. You can take control of your finances. It may take time (and lots of hard work), but you can dig yourself out. I’ve done it, Leo has done it, and so have thousands of others, and we felt just as hopeless as you do.

But knowing others have done it is much different than doing it yourself, right? I’m actually going through a similar struggle with my weight right now, and I think some of the things I’ve learned while trying to get fit or very applicable to similar financial situations. In both cases, you need to:

1. Get back to basics. There’s a temptation when you’re out of shape — physically or financially — to look for quick cure-alls: magic bullets that will solve the problem immediately. That’s not the way it works. There are certain well-known basics that can help you get in shape or get out of debt. (In fact, that’s basically what Your Money: The Missing Manual is all about — getting back to financial basics.)
2. Take one step at a time. I mentioned this earlier, but it’s important. Too many people want to rush the process. But you didn’t get fat overnight. And you didn’t end up broke overnight, either. Take your time. Just as the right way to get healthy is to get fit slowly, the right way to build wealth is to get rich slowly. Don’t be discouraged by occasional failures, but keep doing the right thing over and over.
3. Finally, get help. If you truly feel overwhelmed, then don’t go it alone. In my case with fitness, I’ve joined a Crossfit gym where other like-minded people are there to provide encouragement. Most of these folks are already very very fit, but that’s okay. I don’t feel like they’re judging me; instead, they’re sharing what they’ve learned. The same is true with finances: Find a community that can support you. I like to think the readers at Get Rich Slowly make up one of the best financial communities on the web (and the Wall Street Journal agrees), but there are other places you can go for help: Debtors Anonymous, the National Foundation for Credit Counseling, and so on. There’s no shame in asking for help.

Leo: One of the biggest challenges for someone trying to lead a simpler, more frugal life isn’t just controlling your own actions, but dealing with others in your life — your spouse, for example, other family members, negative naysayers, people who want you to spend more in different ways. How did you deal with that? Was it hard to get your wife on board with drastic changes? Share some tips for our readers who are having trouble with this issue.

JD: Ooh. Great question. Steve Pavlina calls these folks “trolls”, and I do too. There are all kinds of trolls. Some have chips on their shoulders, some cling to preconceived notions, and some just want to argue. The trick is realizing these people aren’t worth you’re time. You have to learn to ignore them. Redirect the conversation, leave the room, or hang up the phone. Whatever you do, DON’T ARGUE. Any time you argue with a troll, the troll wins.

In some cases, ignoring the problem doesn’t work. What can you do about a partner who insists on sabotaging your family’s financial security? How do you cope with your own compulsive spending? Problems like these may require the help of a trained professional, like a an accountant, lawyer, psychologist, or financial planner.

In my own life, I was fortunate not to face many financial trolls. My wife was totally on board with my change; in fact, she’d been trying to goad me to improve my financial situation for years! Most of my friends were equally supportive. Instead, I was the troll in my own life. I did a lot of self-sabotage, and it held me back. (I’ve conquered the self-sabotage when it comes to money, but am still struggling with this problem when it comes to food and fitness.)

Leo: Leading a frugal life is often seen as a difficult, perhaps boring life full of sacrifices of fun and comfort. Do you find that to be true in your experiences

JD: Frugality does require sacrifices, but there’s the thing. When you’re frugal, you make short-term sacrifices of things that don’t really matter for long-term rewards that do matter. For example, in my own life, some of my frugal choices included giving up television, borrowing books from the library instead of buying them, shopping for clothes at a thrift store, and reducing my comic book budget. (I love comic books.) Yeah, it hurt to give these things up at first. But you know what? After a few months, I adjusted to my new situation, and I wasn’t any less happy than I’d been before. The sacrifices didn’t seem like sacrifices, especially when I saw how quickly I was paying off debt. I found other ways to have fun that didn’t cost money. For example, I have a huge library of books I’ve never read. Why buy new ones when I can just read the old ones?

So, I guess what I’m saying is that in the short term, frugality can seem painful. But when you realize that pinching pennies lets you save for the things that really matter — whether that’s travel, a new home, or whatever — then frugality no longer seems like a sacrifice, but a conscious decision to choose a way of life that means more to you.

Read more from J.D. Roth at Get Rich Slowly, or buy his new book – Your Money: The Missing Manual.

Kate Hudson got breast implants, according to a Us Weekly report. The 30-year-old actress reportedly had her boob job in late March. A picture from about a week ago has surfaced that shows more Kate Hudson cleavage than usual.

In the past, Kate Hudson has seemed to be proud of her small breasts. However, after her recent breakup with New York Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez, apparently her stance has changed. What will the future hold for Kate Hudson with big boobs?

Kate Hudson, the daughter of Bill Hudson and Goldie Hawn, is known for her roles in movies including “Almost Famous”, “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days”, “You, Me and Dupree” and “Bride Wars”. Before dating Alex Rodriguez, Kate Hudson was married to Chris Robinson of The Black Crowes from 2000 until 2006.

It’ll be interesting if we’ll see more of Kate Hudson after her breast implants. Well, at least we know that we’ll probably be seeing more of Kate Hudson’s boobs.

Kate Hudson Breast Implants (Image: Zuma Press)

Post from: EveryJoe

Kate Hudson Gets Breast Implants – Bigger Boobs